City of Bones

Posted July 19, 2012 in Review / 0 Comments

City of BonesCity of Bones
by Cassandra Clare
Series: The Mortal Instruments #1
on March 27, 2010
Pages: 353
Source: Library
2 Stars

Don’t miss The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, soon to be a major motion picture in theaters August 2013!

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder -- much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing -- not even a smear of blood -- to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy?

This is Clary's first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It's also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace's world with a vengeance, when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know. . . . 

Exotic and gritty, exhilarating and utterly gripping, Cassandra Clare's ferociously entertaining fantasy takes readers on a wild ride that they will never want to end.

Alright people, MASSIVE spoiler alert because I don’t even feel like giving this a non-spoiler review.  It’s just that…ugh.  I seriously don’t even know.  Just don’t read this if you don’t want the book ruined for you.

Okay.  I don’t even.  Ugh.  This is going to have a LOT of spoilers because I just can’t hold back.
First off, who has the nickname Clary?  I mean, Clarissa is a pretty name.  In fact I really like it.  I might even name my daughter Clarissa.  But I’m sure as hell not giving her the nickname of Clary.  She sounds like a fairy (the Disney kind not the bad-ass kind).  Why not give her the nickname Claire? Oh. Wait. That’s your last name…
Okay that just annoyed me throughout the whole book.
Now, as you know, I’m a sucker for the mysterious, dark, brooding, hot, acts like a jerk and then turns into a hopeless romantic hero.  I don’t know why.  I guess it’s because I, myself, am a hopeless romantic.  I had mixed feelings about Jace.  At first I was all, Oh, Simon! He’s cool.  He’s totally in love with her, go for it Clary.  And then I’m all, Oh. Jace!  He’s cool.  And hot.  Bone him Clary!  Then I though.  Oh, Isabelle is in love with him.  Love square, okay.  Then Alex came in the picture and I’m thinking, okay.  Clary and Alec, Isabelle and Jace?  Or Isabelle and Simon?  Yeah, that’s cute.
And then Alec is gay.
Why the hell is Clary all “Is Alec gay? Cause I’m pretty sure he is. I could just tell.”  How in the holy mother hell could you tell?  Cause I’m usually pretty good at that.  And there was no indication of this.  At least to me there wasn’t.  So now it’s all:  Simon loves Clary but she loves Jace, but Alec loves Jace so Alec hates Clary and Jace is all “I’m brooding.” and then he kisses Clary and Simon gets pissed and tells Clary that she’s stupid and. UGH even I’m getting confused.
Okay so then let’s go to Hodge.  What a douche.
At first I was like:
But then… I wanted to punch that son of a bitch in the face.
And then he says it was only fair since everyone else got off with basically a slap on the wrist..
Alright, alright.  Enough about them.  On to the most important part of the book.
“Jace’s slim fingers tightened convulsively around the glass’s stem.  Clary though for a moment that it might shatter.  ‘My mother is alive?’
‘She is,’ said Valentine.  ‘Alive, and asleep in one of the downstairs rooms at this very moment.  Yes,’ he said, cutting off Jace before he could speak, ‘Jocelyn is your mother, Johnathan.  and Clary – Clary is your sister.”

Okay seriously. WTF?!!?!?  HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!  No. no no no no no no no just NO!
THEY CANNOT BE BROTHER AND SISTER.  It’s just.  WRONG.  They have feelings! FEELINGS!  You can’t have FEELINGS for your brother!!!! GAH!
But I admit.  Cassandra Clare is one brilliant, sneaky woman.  I am desperate to get the next book as soon as possible so I can find out that they’re not really brother and sister.  Because.  There is just no way.  No. Possible. Way.
I would be extremely pissed.
Unless some other mysterious, dark, brooding, handsome guy comes along and sweeps Clary off her feet.
And Clary, please for the love of God get a new nickname. Please, please, change your name.  I’m begging you.

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